Written September 2024/5784
As I write to you the leaves are changing color, the sunset and sunrise are nearly balanced in time, and the air grows 30-40 degrees colder in the matter of a single day. The Jewish year is ending and I am reflecting on 5784, the past year. Where am I proud of myself? Where do I need repair?
I am wondering, what good is being self-reflective when I am terrified that our holy days will be nationalistically weaponized by the state of Israel’s expanding violence? While here on turtle island, Islamophobia and Antisemitism are both being effectively stoked in schools and beyond.
What does it mean when exploding technology murders innocents? When funerals and refugee camps are bombed? For those of us in the U.S., our country has historically duplicated weapons and tactics from the Israeli military, so very directly the threat of this terrorism is tied to each of our fates.
What does it mean when the Congolese minerals used in technological devices are driving another multi-decade genocide in DR Congo? It is not lost on me that this includes the very device upon which I am writing to you.
As the election inches near, I feel deeply aware of the limitations of electoral politics within the ongoing colonial project, and I feel terror/rage to imagine another four years dictated by a man who personifies every abuser many of us have ever had.
In my personal life, I’ve been deeply processing harms from my past. Processing where my wounds are unhealed. Understanding where they have healed in a direction that continues the wound. Examining how I too have caused harm, and how much I have internalized.
At the same time, I’ve been buoyed to take part in a beautiful community following the passing of a fabulous friend. Witnessing people show up for one another so intentionally and tenderly has given me hope. Sitting with many ways of grieving and remembering has given me a roadmap through the impossible terrain of grief. Holding shloshim (30 days of Jewish grief) while donating to Palestinian-led efforts, and understanding that those are not inherently opposed. No matter what happens, we can and will show up for one another with everything we’ve got.
[image description: from woodchips and dead grass, the broad leaves of a common dock “weed” fan out in a range of colors, from bright orange to red to green. the colors are spotty, almost as if sprayed on. a small slug moves along the center of the plant.]